fitting in/the real me
11 Jan
I have been reading Sex, Drugs and CoCoa Puffs and in one of the chapters Chuck Klosterman, the author, is talking about The Real World. How after the first season it began not being “real” because each person who applied after that was trying to fit the mold…trying to be “that guy or girl”…you know, “the religious one” or “the gay one” or “the race focused person”…those origional first 6 characters now became the definition of what a real person who was 19-29 is….and we all had to fit the mold.
This got the wheels in my mind turning.
Started thinking about High School and the “popularity” contests that are going on daily…and how when you graduate you think those end. But maybe they become a little more subtle.
I started thinking about my life. How I dress. How I act. How I talk. The people I want to hang out with. My choice of phones and computers. The shoes I choose to wear. How I wear my hear. Why I don’t wear make up. The books I choose to read. The journal I choose to write in.
Being honest about a dark place inside of me, I do a lot of those things listed above to get the attention of other people. The people I want to be friends with…or even more than that the people I want to be classified with.
I care what people think about me…probably a little way too much.
I often wonder if I were to strip off everything that drives me to “fit in” or fit the stereotype that I would like to fit in if I would be a different person. Would still make the same decisions without the motivation of fitting in?
I dont think the desire to be liked or to fit in is a bad thing…for me i think it becomes bad when i am morphing myself into someone i have created…i daily have to battle putting on this idea of Lynse that i like….and just being me.
I have a sneaking suspicion i am not alone. Today People of the Second Chance started this experiment…what if we showed who the real us was…what we looked like without photoshop, before we styled our hair and put on makeup. what if for a week we were real?
from where my head has been recently i was drawn to this. so i am participating…trying to press myself a bit where i struggle the most….
So here is a picture of me without straightening my hair and just throwing on my sweatshirt. me…
what about you? do you struggle with this too?
