discounted
31 Aug
I think i have found my life’s soap box. You know, the thing that gets your blood boiling faster than anything else on the entire world. I say i “found” it, but truthfully, its always been there….but i have just now discovered the line that ties all the things i thought were just floating in the nebulous land of soap boxes.
My soap box: Discounting. Plain and simple.
I am not talking about the awesome discounts you get when you use coupons or whatever but the discounting of people and their experiences.
In TwentyFourSeven Leadership Academy that I was in for 2 years nearly drilled this concept into my head. I never really understood the importance of the concept until recent “soul searching”. We were taught time and time again to not “discount” other students experiences by making off the cuff comments about how bad that sermon was or how much we hated that song or how lame that mission project was. I never got it cause i was just being sarcastic or voicing my opinion. Then one day the heart of it was explained to me. I had a light switch moment. It made sense in my head.
Just because I didn’t like the song or the sermon or the experience or the memories that was being created didn’t mean that everyone felt the same way. Maybe the song that we sang lead to breakthrough in someones life or the message i was critiquing and stating how “lower shelf” it was and just senseless babble brought freedom to that person. You never know. Speaking poorly about an experience that may have meant the world to someone else is discounting it for them. You are making it a little less special for them. You are calling doubt and question into play in an experience that could be the catalyst for life change.
Discounted.
This is why comparing stories and testimonies frustrate me so much. I wrote about it here (we are all right). Just because my story may be more intense or less intense than yours doesn’t and shouldn’t discount the fact that you are a person with stories and experiences that make you.
You are not me. You are you.
That’s another form of discounting that can lead a persons voice or perceived voice to be stolen from them.
I had a similar experience a while back where i felt like my feelings and experiences i had been through were being discounted because it was “not as bad or serious” as the person i was being compared to. My emotions, feelings and experiences were discounted. They were made less because someone felt that i had no right to have those feelings and emotions.
Discounted.
For me, it caused me to shut down and feel like my voice was taken. That my feelings and experiences were no longer valid. That forever i would be compared to _________ and if my thoughts and feelings were not deemed acceptable they should not be shared.
I had allowed myself to be discounted.
I spent a few weeks angry. Then i was hurt. Then i was angry again. And in all of this i stopped updating my blog, i stopped commenting on blogs because i didnt feel like i had a voice to contribute or an opinion that was valued.
I don’t know that i truly understood the concept until that moment. Until i had experienced being discounted. The gut wrenching feeling of my feelings being discounted.
I have since spent some time finding my value and voice in things other than blogging and twitter. I don’t feel discounted anymore.
Through my experience and hurt i discovered my life’s soap box. The little piece of what i view as injustice that i can fight for.
What’s your life’s soapbox? What makes your blood boil?
