Lynse Leanne

i did something that i didnt want to do. i did something that i had promised God that i wouldnt do again. Something that i knew i would regret the second after i did it.

I sinned. I messed up.

When i sin or mess up my first instinct is to isolate and hide….to keep it a secret.

But I know that is not healthy.

So i resisted the urge to hide and keep my sin a secret because i knew that if i did that it would continue to grow and grow and i would keep doing it…because it is in the dark and not in the light, and thats where it grows and festers….

So i confessed it…first to God and then to a few trusted friends that i knew would keep me accountable.

I chose to tear down the wall and share my secret…where i am weak.

as always it is scary. the thoughts running through my mind

they will think i am horrible
i let them down
i cant believe i did that
they are not going to be my friend anymore
they are going to tell everyone
they are going to judge me

but after i told the response on the other end was not at all what i anticipated….

her exact words were

“Love you. Messed up just means allow the rescue. Nothing you can do but allow it in.”

she didnt judge
but, she didnt approve of what i did
she didnt unfriend me
she didnt make me feel like i let them down
she didnt tell anyone

this person simply reminded me that God is my rescue….that i cant save or rescue myself. I cant do enough to rescue myself….only God can.

Rescue is defined as (n) an act of saving or being saved from danger or distress; or (v) save (someone) from a dangerous or distressing situation.

She couldnt rescue me.
I couldnt rescue me.
Chad couldnt rescue me.
You couldnt rescue me.

only God can rescue.

and in that moment of grace and love i felt the rescue of God. His plan to rescue me from where i was…the emotions, the anxiety, the shame, the darkness…he rescued me when His son died on the cross.

But it is our choice to allow the rescue…

The next time you mess up are you going to allow the rescue in? Or will you flounder on your own trying to rescue yourself?

I have to be honest…the secret and darkness is very comfortable for me.

That statement holds a lot of things….it keeps me hidden in sin. it keeps me from being honest with the people around me.

Now, before you think that i am in some crazy “secret sin” i am not. But i have been thinking about how often we try and hide the things in our life and in our past because it is easier if it is your little secret.

But if we’re going to get all Biblical……

James 5:16 clearly says that there is healing in sharing your sins with others.

But why is it so hard to just put it all on the table. it is uncomfortable…..but on the other side of putting it all out there there is healing and freedom.

But, why is it so hard?