Lynse Leanne

Is there such thing as too honest?

Do you think there is a line when it comes to honesty?

I want to share what i am reading…blogs, books and otherwise….

BLOGS

Design Milk. I am not sure how I stumbled upon this blog but I LOVE IT. I think I found their twitter account via twitter’s recommendation craziness. Anyways, I love looking at pretty things that make my creative juices flow. Oh, and they also have Dog Milk…designed stuff for dogs.

Moleskinerie. To be honest, this is my homepage. I love my moleskine and have used one since Jr. year in High School. I can look back over the past 8 years of my life through them. Moleskinerie makes me enjoy my moleskine (or what I call “spybooks“) even more. And it’s also full of pretty things.

PostSecret. When I was in High School I heard about these books. I would spend hours on end flipping through them at my bookstore. Once I sent a secret in to PostSecret. It was actually very therapeutic for me. Sunday mornings it is the first thing I do when I wake up….turn off the alarm. Go to PostSecret. Get ready for church.

BOOKS

Permission to Speak Freely. Y’all I seriously picked up and read it in a day. Cover to cover. I couldn’t put it down. Yet each day I am re-reading chapters and letting them sink in. Letting it sink into my soul. It is beautifully written. If you have not picked it up yet I would strongly encourage it. Here is a link to push you a little more. ;)

SuperFreakonomics. It is a second book after their very successful Freakonomics. I think it may have been the first book I read after my almost fundamental stage of life. It was the first “secular” books I read after becoming a Christian. I loved the linking of seemingly random things. And it made me laugh. So when I discovered that there was a follow up book I was so excited. So I am reading it and I am just as happy and impressed. It’s a fun good and pretty easy read.

So, there you go. I would love to know what blogs and books you are reading. I’m always looking for good blogs and books. Share on my friends.

I think i have found my life’s soap box.  You know, the thing that gets your blood boiling faster than anything else on the entire world.  I say i “found” it, but truthfully, its always been there….but i have just now discovered the line that ties all the things i thought were just floating in the nebulous land of soap boxes.

My soap box: Discounting.  Plain and simple.

I am not talking about the awesome discounts you get when you use coupons or whatever but the discounting of people and their experiences.

In TwentyFourSeven Leadership Academy that I was in for 2 years nearly drilled this concept into my head.  I never really understood the importance of the concept until recent “soul searching”.  We were taught time and time again to not “discount” other students experiences by making off the cuff comments about how bad that sermon was or how much we hated that song or how lame that mission project was.  I never got it cause i was just being sarcastic or voicing my opinion.  Then one day the heart of it was explained to me.  I had a light switch moment. It made sense in my head.

Just because I didn’t like the song or the sermon or the experience or the memories that was being created didn’t mean that everyone felt the same way.  Maybe the song that we sang lead to breakthrough in someones life or the message i was critiquing and stating how “lower shelf” it was and just senseless babble brought freedom to that person.  You never know.  Speaking poorly about an experience that may have meant the world to someone else is discounting it for them.  You are making it a little less special for them.  You are calling doubt and question into play in an experience that could be the catalyst for life change.

Discounted.

This is why comparing stories and testimonies frustrate me so much.  I wrote about it here (we are all right).  Just because my story may be more intense or less intense than yours doesn’t and shouldn’t discount the fact that you are a person with stories and experiences that make you.

You are not me.  You are you.

That’s another form of discounting that can lead a persons voice or perceived voice to be stolen from them.

I had a similar experience a while back where i felt like my feelings and experiences i had been through were being discounted because it was “not as bad or serious” as the person i was being compared to.  My emotions, feelings and experiences were discounted.  They were made less because someone felt that i had no right to have those feelings and emotions.

Discounted.

For me, it caused me to shut down and feel like my voice was taken.  That my feelings and experiences were no longer valid.  That forever i would be compared to _________ and if my thoughts and feelings were not deemed acceptable they should not be shared.

I had allowed myself to be discounted.

I spent a few weeks angry.  Then i was hurt.  Then i was angry again.  And in all of this i stopped updating my blog, i stopped commenting on blogs because i didnt feel like i had a voice to contribute or an opinion that was valued.

I don’t know that i truly understood the concept until that moment.  Until i had experienced being discounted.  The gut wrenching feeling of my feelings being discounted.

I have since spent some time finding my value and voice in things other than blogging and twitter.  I don’t feel discounted anymore.

Through my experience and hurt i discovered my life’s soap box.  The little piece of what i view as injustice that i can fight for.

What’s your life’s soapbox?  What makes your blood boil?

After we moved here in March I threw myself in to the desire to meet new people and make friends and get attached here. I was trying to make it my home. I was making an effort to better mine and Chad’s relationship….and many of you know twitter, facebook and blogging has been something that hasn’t assisted in the bettering of us. so i kind of broke away from it for a bit.

I stopped.
I started a new twitter account for many purposes but mostly to simplify.
I was over the popularity contest that i saw brewing online.

It had become a lot like High School drama and i was getting stressed over it and i didn’t want to be. I didn’t want stress. Twitter, Facebook and blogging had been my stress reliever, it was the place i went like another world that took me away from the stress of my then job. It was my make believe world that i could escape to and find refuge in.

I went through i time when i really wanted to just focus on living in the now. I posted over on Elora’s blog while she was in Africa something that was making my heart beat at the time. I posted about how i had been living life through 140 characters and to a point i think it hindered my experiences. It hindered what i got out of the moment because i wanted to share it with everyone and break this sometimes magical moment that can never be recreated. You can read it here.

The last couple of weeks I have been wrestling with some things in life like who i am. what kind of friend do i want to be. where did i see me in 5 years. where do i see chad and i in 5 years.

And for me personally the best way for me to spend some time hashing things out is to write. I know i am not the most fantastic writer and i use “…” too much and write in run on sentences that make my English teacher friends cringe (sara and elora), but it is in fact my outlet. And i stopped it.

But i want it back. I want to write again. I want to share my happiness. My struggles. My fears. My failures. My successes. I want to share it with you all.

So i want back. I can not promise i will update daily, but i am going to try and update more often. And it may be more raw as i fight some things out inside of me. I hope that you will join me.

buckle up. it could be an interesting ride.

If you follow me on twitter you know that we watch CSI like it is our job. If we were getting paid to watch it we would be millionaires. We love it! Before we moved we had the first 3 seasons on DVD and would watch them over and over and over and over. We had seen each episode at least 5 times but we would still watch them.

We own up to season 4 now and are in the middle of season 6 via Netflix. Each night we go home after our days and watch a CSI. We have done it for 2 years now. Chad still laughs at me because one Saturday morning I woke up and we were discussing our day and I expressed that I just wanted to “watch our friends”, meaning Gil, Sarah, Catherine, Nick, Warrick. I was partly sarcastic but partly not.

But last night as we were watching Season 6 I was thinking about how this is “our thing.” It would be weird to watch CSI with someone else. It is what Chad and I do. I know, we are dorks, but it is one thing that we can agree upon always.

And those things are good.

What is “your thing?” with or without a spouse.