Lynse Leanne

This is one of my favourite songs right now….and my favourite line…

“using your headphones to drown out your mind”

cause, well i can relate to that. Just wanted to share a favourite song of mine…

What do you think?

Over the past week I have spent alot of time thinking about what it means to just be.

So often we are scared of not being good enough when in reality we just need to be in front of God and He makes us good enough.

So as you go through today, just be. Let Him pick up where you can’t continue. Rest and know that He is in control.

Recently i have been asked by some people why my name is spelled different….i have 2 spellings Lindsay and Lynse.

legally it is Lindsay….but to me it looks so foreign. up until now only my closest friends who knew me at the time know why….and Chad of course. Some of them may not even know that Lynse is not legal. but i guess i am out now….legally i am Lindsay Leanne….not Lynse Leanne.

but here goes the story.

when i was a junior in high school i lived in Colorado Springs, i was holding on to a lot of things, a lot of hurt. I was in the process of just coming clean about my sexual abuse and self injury issues….But i was working through it….I was letting God work in me and change a lot of the ways that i chose to cope.

i wanted God to show up and change those things in me, to heal me and take those things away. i wanted him to make me more like him.

so i spent 2 days praying and fasting for God to take it away from me and closed my time with communion….it was at a church service and i heard the pastor say something that i had never heard….

he said that God wanted to heal all of me, every area, including my mind and emotions….and i bought into it.

i cant tell you my exact feelings, but there was just a peace and a knowing that God showed up and i was not depressed anymore….i knew that God was near me. Of course i had “down” moments, but i was no longer depressed…and yes, there is a big difference.

you are probably wondering where the name change comes in….well that night i went to starbucks to read some more. I ordered my normal Grande Vanilla Soy No Water Chai and the lady at starbucks wrote my name “Lynse” and i liked it….

i was reading the story in Genesis 32 when God changes Jacob’s name to Israel and at that moment i felt the LORD say that just as he has begun a good work in me he was also changing the spelling of my name so that each time i wrote it or saw it i would be reminded that he worked in my life. That He changed me….that He showed up, we wrestled and God changed my name.

so for all of you who have asked….there it is. and for all of you who had no clue….you now know.

Has God ever done something so huge in you that you had to do something huge to remember it?

Today we babysat for a small group. Chad and I and 11 kids. Lets just say that if there was ever a form of birth control that may be it.

As we were watching the kids we had a fun game going with one of the little boys. He was so sweet and innocent. I was holding the ball up and bouncing it on the ground. As i did he was trying to catch it and Chad was standing behind him snatching him up from catching the ball.

This game probably went on for 2 minutes and then we decided that we would let him catch the ball.

The funny thing was as i bounced the ball for him to catch he took 2 steps back and fell into Chad as if he was being snatched and kept from keeping the ball.

a few minutes went on and i looked at Chad and said “that was a spiritual principle if i’ve ever seen one.”

He had become so used to the fact that he was not going to get the ball even though it was right in front of him. He was used to being snatched up right before.

How many times do we do this? We cant get to the ball that God has in front of us because of the different ways the enemy keeps us. But once we break free from the enemy and can just reach out and grab the ball we back away and into the enemies arms.

I know that i am so guilty of this. Time and time again i go back into the grips of the enemy and his lies…

“i cant do that”
“my story disqualifies me”
“you are not good enough”

all of the lies that i believe.

But i just have to reach out and grab it.

The truth is the enemy has been defeated and we can overcome him. We have already overcome him. we just have to choose to reach out and grab it.

put your hands out.

After a crazy week of sad, and emotional writing and sharing my story i decided i would let off you guys a little bit and do something lighter….so this is my sad attempt…..

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Sunday morning on my way into work i had about 45 minutes to spare so i planted at Starbucks and decided i would spend some time in the Word. I was hurting, alone and broken….so it was a good time to open the Bible.

This is what i read….

I would like to know what you guys think…how cool and awesome is that statement?