option 1 being i can work out now and be healthy and lead a healthy life for many years
option 2 i can continue to eat and indulge now and pay later. continue to gain weight which will in turn jack up my knees and other joints and then potentially be unable to enjoy life in the future.

it seems pretty black and white right? ya, to me too.

but to be honest, i am a quitter. I have good intentions to work out and go running but half way through i quit. I have no self drive when it comes to working out. and to be honest again, it really pisses me off. i look back throughout my life and i see this Lynse that has drive to get through some pretty hellish things.

I pushed through and survived the sexual and emotional abuse.
I pushed through and quit pot and cocaine.
I pushed through dealing with the abuse because i knew it would benefit me.

Now, none of those things were easy or fun. Let me tell you i hated every minute of it.

But when it comes to working out and getting healthy i cant push through and i always end up quitting.

Through my years in TwentyFourSeven during our insane workouts the leader would say several things to motivate us. The one thing that always stands out in my head is

“you can pay now or you can pay later.”

I can pay now by working out and pushing my body to run that extra mile or do that extra lunge or crunch. Or i can pay later by being unhealthy with a poor quality of life.

those are essentially my two options.

but every time i put on my exercise clothes and tie up my shoes there is that voice inside of me that says i will never finish the run. or i cant ever lose weight or get healthy. And i buy into it and quit.

I am a quitter.

I dont want to be a quitter. I dont want to be the person that looks back years from now and wishes that i would have just paid in my 20’s instead of paying in my 50’s.

As much as i would love a Jillian Michaels, (who by the way is so freaking kick ass) I dont think it would be good for me in the long run. Knowing me, after she left or i quit seeing the trainer i would quit. I would have not built equity up in myself to get out there and face my demons of quitting and would find another excuse to quit.

This is much more than a weight issue for me. This is a character thing. It is going to be a life long struggle that isn’t even associated to my physical health. It is a motivation issue. It is a self value issue. It is a confidence issue. A self starting issue.

And right now to combat this I think the only way i know how will be to put on my exercise clothes daily and lace up my running shoes daily and push myself. Do that last mile, that last lunge, that last crunch.

Not because I need to lose weight, but I need to show myself that I value me, that I deserve to be healthy, that most importantly i wont quit on myself.

What do you always end up quitting that you need to push through?

Mine – an Iced Caramel Macchiato.  Tasty.  Bliss.

Whats yours?

But now that we have moved and i am trying to be more intentional about cooking dinner and what we are eating i am falling in love with it. It is odd…but oh so fun.

Last night we went to the grocery store and got some pork loins sliced thin like steaks…i am sure they have a name, but i sure as heck dont know it. but as i was getting ready to make dinner i noticed that we had some apples that we were not going to eat and would probably just end up going bad. I knew that apples and pork go nicely together. so i chopped those apples up and satued them in a pan with some cinnamon and salt. After they were looking pretty tasty i added the pork. Cooked the pork…and mind you, this was the second time to ever cook pork…the first time was in the crock pot, so it doesnt count. ;)

topped the pork with some of the apples, a dab of apple sauce, cinnamon and a touch of salt to go with the sweet apples. it was pretty good…the pork was a little over cooked, but i’m learning.

we also had asparagus cooked in EVOO, salt and pepper…super simple, but one of my favourites….and sometimes i satue it in orange juice…just a light citrus flavour. oh, and we had salad…just ice berg lettuce and celery with ranch and cheddar cheese.  simple.

but that was dinner.  and it was pretty good.

and i had so much fun. I didnt have a recipe for the pork, i just tried it. i took a risk knowing it could be horrible and bomb, but tried it anyways…and it didnt bomb. Chad actually said he would eat it again.

Whens the last time you just created something in the kitchen with what you had?

Now, i dont really know how to cook or bake. Most times i stumble my way through a recipe…but i am convinced that the more i do it the better i will get.

Friday when i went to pick Chad up from work he introduced me to one of the parents of a child he hangs with at the Y (he works at the YMCA…nothing creepy) and she writes for Southern Living and does this. She told me that her major goals was to come up with things that have minimal ingredients and that can be done quickly and the kicker….VERY LITTLE CLEAN UP. Which i am all about.

She gave me a quick crock pot recipe for Pulled Pork…you know, like if you go to a BBQ restaurant and get a pulled pork sandwich…ya, i can now do that. And if you know me well you know that i love BBQ and crave it and Mexican pretty much weekly.

This recipe is super easy….

1. a pork tenderloin
2. a can of chicken broth
3. one onion sliced
4. salt and pepper

This is what mine looked like going in….

here is when it started smelling so good and i wanted it right then…but it was not done….

put all that in a crock pot on high for 4-6 hrs. Then take it out and with two forks begin shredding….SUPER EASY! it practically falls apart.

once shredded you can put it on a salad, baked potato or a bun…or alone, and enjoy!  (oh, and for the record, no, my arms are not that hairy…that is Chad helping me.)

people…it was so easy and so good. maybe i can do this whole cooking thing…seems easy enough…follow the directions.

Do you cook?  What is your easiest favourite recipe?

but in thinking about 2009 and the different things i want in 2010 i really really really want to cook and bake more. I do enjoy it but dont know how to do anything but bake chicken and make salads.

So i have no recipes…and i know some of you people do….so share some with me…maybe we could have a swap of sorts. but help me know and learn…just give me recipes.

it could be fun…and then i will post about it. yep…it will be a fun time.

So whats the best way to do this?