Each time i see it, it reminds me that we are to be LOVE to the world. How else will people around us know that we have the LOVE of God? If we repel people by offending them instead of loving them where they are what will make them want to come to God, who is LOVE.

I think about my story and how i got into church…i was a rebel, i was angry. I smoked, drank and cussed like a sailor. I had no reference for what was wrong or right in church or as a “christian.” No one had told me. It was a make it up as you go situation. But there were people, to whom i am so grateful for, who came alongside me and LOVED me where i was…and for who i was then. They knew that if they could encourage me to get closer to the God of LOVE that the different things in my life would begin to line up with scripture.

Had they have sat me down and attacked me i would have been so turned off…and to be honest i would still be turned off. I sent this tweet on Friday and i stand by it

“Don’t get me wrong I love Gods truth but if you say it in a judging manner and not in love I don’t want to hear it.”

There is a difference in speaking the truth in love and speaking it with judgement. LOVE compels you to improve while judgment causes you to back off and turn away.

So, i have a two part question….and would love your thoughts….

1.  Is it christians that are turning people away from God with their actions, words and judgement?

2.  As a christian, what could you/we do better?

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” – Audrey Hepburn

Remember…in this holiday season, with your family, your friends and especially if you are in retail…that people grace.

Dont write anyone off.

Well as you read this think of that tone.

cause i am yelling “BREAK!”

I have spent a few days realizing that i should take a break from this little thing called blogging, twitter and facebook.

The play is for me to take 2 weeks off to spend time focusing on me…through continued healing as i am on my journey. To spend some uninterrupted time with Chad as we plan our next steps as the Stevens’. and to refocus my love towards God and remove this little idol that keeps creeping its way into my life.

So from tomorrow AM until December 14th i will be M.I.A. But i will be available by email at lynseleanne[at]gmail.com , but i will not be checking it as often, but i will be checking it twice a day. :)

I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers during these 2 weeks… make sure i dont miss anything too HUGE…kthxbai.

anyways, in Chapter 7 called, Paste Jewelry and Sawdust Hot Dogs. The premise of this chapter is how we can be fake and put on religion as your protection but question everything and fake our way through this life and through our faith.

This is a quote from this chapter…it messed me up, made me think about my own life and my actions.

“The way we are with each other is the truest test of our faith. How I treat a brother or sister from day to day, how I react to the sin-scarred wino on the street, how I respond to interruptions from people I dislike, how I deal with normal people in their normal confusion on a normal day may be a better indication of my reverence for life than the antiabortion sticker on the bumper of my car.”

I would love to know your thoughts.

I sinned. I messed up.

When i sin or mess up my first instinct is to isolate and hide….to keep it a secret.

But I know that is not healthy.

So i resisted the urge to hide and keep my sin a secret because i knew that if i did that it would continue to grow and grow and i would keep doing it…because it is in the dark and not in the light, and thats where it grows and festers….

So i confessed it…first to God and then to a few trusted friends that i knew would keep me accountable.

I chose to tear down the wall and share my secret…where i am weak.

as always it is scary. the thoughts running through my mind

they will think i am horrible
i let them down
i cant believe i did that
they are not going to be my friend anymore
they are going to tell everyone
they are going to judge me

but after i told the response on the other end was not at all what i anticipated….

her exact words were

“Love you. Messed up just means allow the rescue. Nothing you can do but allow it in.”

she didnt judge
but, she didnt approve of what i did
she didnt unfriend me
she didnt make me feel like i let them down
she didnt tell anyone

this person simply reminded me that God is my rescue….that i cant save or rescue myself. I cant do enough to rescue myself….only God can.

Rescue is defined as (n) an act of saving or being saved from danger or distress; or (v) save (someone) from a dangerous or distressing situation.

She couldnt rescue me.
I couldnt rescue me.
Chad couldnt rescue me.
You couldnt rescue me.

only God can rescue.

and in that moment of grace and love i felt the rescue of God. His plan to rescue me from where i was…the emotions, the anxiety, the shame, the darkness…he rescued me when His son died on the cross.

But it is our choice to allow the rescue…

The next time you mess up are you going to allow the rescue in? Or will you flounder on your own trying to rescue yourself?

Do you twitter? If not, does this explain it more? would you consider doing it?

That statement holds a lot of things….it keeps me hidden in sin. it keeps me from being honest with the people around me.

Now, before you think that i am in some crazy “secret sin” i am not. But i have been thinking about how often we try and hide the things in our life and in our past because it is easier if it is your little secret.

But if we’re going to get all Biblical……

James 5:16 clearly says that there is healing in sharing your sins with others.

But why is it so hard to just put it all on the table. it is uncomfortable…..but on the other side of putting it all out there there is healing and freedom.

But, why is it so hard?

When i was in 24/7 we had scripture memory…each week we had to memorize a different scripture.  It was challenging, but as my life has progressed over the years i have gone back to those scriptures and held onto them…at the time i thought it was meaningless, but now, there is so much value.

This Isaiah 30:21 verse is one that i have been meditating on the last few days.  As Chad and I are in the transition phase and waiting on God to move and speak and show us what may be next.

I have to be honest in the fact that i have been a little stressed about what is next.  what is next for Chad, for me, for the Stevens’….but God reminded me that we will hear a voice behind us…IF we are listening.

So i am focusing on silencing out some other voices and noise to listen for THAT VOICE. I have to work on it…to hear THAT VOICE…

Do you have to work at hearing the voice of God or do you hear it easily?

And that…my friends…is what makes me smile. besides Jesus and Chad…social media lights my fire.

This is a great picture of Chad and I if i do say so myself. When i see this picture i am really proud of myself. When you see this picture you probably just see a crazy bald man and his wife.

But you may not know the whole story. Because of a lot of my past and a lot of the things i have been through i have always been super control freak. I didnt like to be picked up because i felt like i wasnt in control. I cared waaaaay too much of what people thought about me. and in that i was not living true to me. I was a reserved, scared and in control person.

And slowly i am learning to let go.

I am learning that i dont have to be in total control all the time. I am learning that I can trust Chad, who i gave my life to…He is trustworthy from little things like picking me up for a picture to taking care of me as his wife. and because i am a control freak i feel like i may have missed some of his shining moments…

i know that is a small little thing but it is monumental in my life. I am learning to let go and falling in love with life and the world around me. I am seeing the fun and beauty in everything.

Life is good. Just wanted to share this little milestone in my life.