Each time i see it, it reminds me that we are to be LOVE to the world. How else will people around us know that we have the LOVE of God? If we repel people by offending them instead of loving them where they are what will make them want to come to God, who is LOVE.

I think about my story and how i got into church…i was a rebel, i was angry. I smoked, drank and cussed like a sailor. I had no reference for what was wrong or right in church or as a “christian.” No one had told me. It was a make it up as you go situation. But there were people, to whom i am so grateful for, who came alongside me and LOVED me where i was…and for who i was then. They knew that if they could encourage me to get closer to the God of LOVE that the different things in my life would begin to line up with scripture.

Had they have sat me down and attacked me i would have been so turned off…and to be honest i would still be turned off. I sent this tweet on Friday and i stand by it

“Don’t get me wrong I love Gods truth but if you say it in a judging manner and not in love I don’t want to hear it.”

There is a difference in speaking the truth in love and speaking it with judgement. LOVE compels you to improve while judgment causes you to back off and turn away.

So, i have a two part question….and would love your thoughts….

1.  Is it christians that are turning people away from God with their actions, words and judgement?

2.  As a christian, what could you/we do better?

if you dont watch LOST please excuse the LOST talk…it is a good quote that resonates with me…not just a LOST quote. ;)

in season 3 episode 11 Sayid is flashingback to when he was being tortured to confess that he tortured a lady during his time in the republican guard (Iraqi Army). She comes in to talk to him, to have him confess…and this is what she says,

“After my husband and I first arrived to Paris, I was afraid to ever leave our apartment. So I would stare out the window of our apartment and I would see this cat looking for scraps. One day some children came to the alley and trapped him in a box. I watched them light firecrackers and drop them into the box. I could hear him howling from three stories above. And finally, I had a reason to leave my apartment. I rescued this cat, and I brought it home. It sits with me when I read, sleeps with me, and he purrs. But, every once in a while, he will bite me or scratch me. He does this because he forgets that he is safe. So I forgive him when he bites me, because I know what it is like to never feel safe. And that is because of you. So today, I ask only one thing of you. I ask that you show me the respect of acknowledging what you did to me. That it was you who questioned me, that tortured me, and that you remember me.”

when i heard that i started to cry.  i realized that it put into words what i feel at times.  what it feels like to never feel safe.  because of the abuse i endured i dont always feel safe. i have different fears that haunt me because of things that were done to me. and a lot of times i feel like that tortured cat…not feeling safe is a scary thing for me. because i wasnt safe then so i try so hard to feel safe now to avoid some of those feelings from coming back.

But i am so thankful that i have a husband who understands those fears and my need to feel safe. but who also understands that when i dont feel safe i get a little weird…i act like that cat. i do crazy things to have control to feel safe.

anyways…is there a quote in a song or a movie that “gets it?”  that you heard or read and you thought…yep, thats me…in words?

during dessert Chad decided that he should teach Chance spanish…and this is what we got.

this blog is my favourite right now. it is called Moleskinerie: Legends and Stories. it is all things Moleskine. And as many of you know i have used Moleskine for years…since i was 16, so 8 years to be exact. i love my Moleskine…and i love them. they have documented my life…the ups and downs for 8 years.

see…look

so…go over to Moleskinerie, click around a bit.

i hope you like it as much as me.

Do you like Moleskines? oh, and what is the favourite blog you are reading right now?

Our next 2 weeks will be filled with packing, packing and more packing. Work and then precious moments with friends we will miss.

I have to be honest in saying that while i was packing the other day i came across a note from a friend that made me cry. She is younger than i am, in high school in fact. But i realized that by moving away i would miss seeing her grow up through her High School days and graduate.

This last week and a half is going to be hard to get through. Knowing that it will be lasts all over the place. There will probably be tears, you know, since i cry now, and happy moments.

My goal is to not let my sadness get in the way and hurt the precious moments that are celebrating the years of friendships.

But the truth is….

Moving is hard.
Saying goodbye Sucks.

But i know Chad and i are taking a step of faith and growing together…and that excites me.

So excuse the absence the next few weeks. I will update as much as i can…without internet and on the road. ;)

But when i return and my life is a little more normal you will get to hear of the new adventures of Chad and Lynse. I cant wait!!

As my week continued the phrase “my story was not nearly as bad and hard as yours” seemed to be a theme. I started reading a new book called “The Kids are All Right” by Amanda, Diana, Dan and Liz Welch.

It is their memoir, all giving an account of growing up under the same roof but having very different memories and stories from the same times. But the title says it all, the kids are all right. No matter what they felt or remembered…even if it was different than their siblings they are all right. It was as if God was trying to get my attention. To speak something to my heart.

During Life Group a couple weeks ago we were talking about some situations happening in my life and the lives of those of us in the group and it came up again. “my situation is not as bad as __________. So i guess it could be worse….”

and in that moment i think the lightbulb came on for me. I heard what God was trying to say to me all week.

I always hear people comparing their stories….almost one upping eachother to see who has or had it worse. But in either case dont we all have it the worst?

In our circumstances. In our stories. In our pasts. in our present situations. It is our story. and we are right.

and for us in that time or this time it is the worst….for us.

statements like “my story is not nearly as bad or hard as yours.” is robbing yourself of the hardships and trials that you had to endure to get you to today. Yes, mine may be different than yours…but harder?

to you it is hard….and it should stay that way…

remember as you share your story and listen to others that we are all right.  we all have different levels that we can endure…we all have different lives and stories.

But we are all right.

Well as you read this think of that tone.

cause i am yelling “BREAK!”

I have spent a few days realizing that i should take a break from this little thing called blogging, twitter and facebook.

The play is for me to take 2 weeks off to spend time focusing on me…through continued healing as i am on my journey. To spend some uninterrupted time with Chad as we plan our next steps as the Stevens’. and to refocus my love towards God and remove this little idol that keeps creeping its way into my life.

So from tomorrow AM until December 14th i will be M.I.A. But i will be available by email at lynseleanne[at]gmail.com , but i will not be checking it as often, but i will be checking it twice a day. :)

I would appreciate your thoughts and prayers during these 2 weeks… make sure i dont miss anything too HUGE…kthxbai.

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How fun is that!!

They were telling me of times when they were growing up that their parents wernt sure how and where food would come from for the family.

That thought is so foreign to me.

When i was growing up we always had everything we wanted….
We always got what we wanted, toys, food, video games, vacations….
We always got a TON of Christmas gifts….
We always went out to eat…..
We always traveled and had amazing vacations.

So i have no idea what it was like to grow up that way. Now is another story, but growing up we were spoiled.

I actually had my dads credit card until the day after i got married. He would let me know what i spent monthly and even at 21 i thought it was a little extravagant. but it was what i was used to.

I wanted a MacBook ….I got a MacBook
I wanted an iPod…..I got an iPod
I wanted to go out to eat 2/3 times a day…..I went to eat
I wanted to fly somewhere for the weekend….I flew there

It was all i knew. So why would i be any different.

But i wish that i would have had to experience some discipline in the money area. I never saw it from my parents because they always spent. They saved too, but we didnt see that….we just saw the spending.

And now as i am an adult and married and learning how to manage our finances i have a hard time switching in my mind that money doesnt run out….because i have since learned that it does. :\

Both of my parents on separate occasions have apologized to me for the disservice that was done by not showing us how to save, spend and budget.

And i wish i had known earlier. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and trouble through my life.

So i am curious, did you grow up getting everything you ever wanted or in want?

after Dirt i leave Thursday to join Chad in Portland for the One Church Conference in Vancouver, Wa. Then the 17th i fly back home to Birmingham.

It shall be a crazy week, but i want to give you the heads up so you know where i am….but if you would like to follow me more closely you can follow me on twitter here or the hashtag for Dirt here.

I hope you have an awesome week and i hope to let you all know what im up to through the week….Portland will be full of surprises and photos…