anxiety or excuse?

I was thinking about this the other day.  And Chad, my husband who could and does talk to empty rooms…and no, there is nothing wrong with him he’s just highly social was asking me this.

When do social anxiety issues become an excuse or a cop out?

I have social anxiety issues.  Due to several reasons and the fact that i am a natural introvert and enjoy my time alone or with a few close friends i despise large group settings.

DESPISE.

I dont even like small group settings where i dont know everyone personally.  I am awkward.  I forget how to talk with out getting bright red and because its easier tend to become a wall flower that comes off as super standoffish.

But, i know this about me.

I tend to decline invites to things because they make me uncomfortable.  I feel out of control.  And Chad, being the good husband pointed out to me that sometimes it is my excuse.

You remember a while back those commercials for Herbal Essence or something like that where the girl kept saying she couldnt go on a date because she “had to wash my hair.”  Valid…washing your hair is a very good thing, but it was an excuse.

I have to protect my emotions and anxiety levels because it does mess me up and get me all stressed.  It effects my sleeping and my eating.  But at the same time i have to suck it up for several reasons.

1. how will i ever be “ok” in social settings if i keep saying no to them?
2. what does it communicate to the people that want to hang out with me if i keep saying no?
3. life is all about balance.  i cant always say yes and i cant always say no.
4. sometimes stretching my comfort zone proves to me and others that its not as bad as i think it is.

I used to freak out and have crying spells before going into my own birthday parties.  Chad can attest to this.  It was the first “event” we went to for me (my birthday) that i was scared to death to go to.  Because i would be the center of attention.  Details were given to the hosts and they knew if i felt threatened i would leave.  was i uncomfortable?  yes!  Was it a healthy and safe thing to do? Yes!  I went it and it was obviously a good decision.  I had a blast with my friends.  I ate incredible food.  And most importantly made some good memories.

I could have made an excuse….and stayed home in my comfort zone.  Instead i pushed myself and it paid off.

i am curious if im the only one….or do you let your social anxiety get in the way of life?