fitting in/the real me
I have been reading Sex, Drugs and CoCoa Puffs and in one of the chapters Chuck Klosterman, the author, is talking about The Real World. How after the first season it began not being “real” because each person who applied after that was trying to fit the mold…trying to be “that guy or girl”…you know, “the religious one” or “the gay one” or “the race focused person”…those origional first 6 characters now became the definition of what a real person who was 19-29 is….and we all had to fit the mold.
This got the wheels in my mind turning.
Started thinking about High School and the “popularity” contests that are going on daily…and how when you graduate you think those end. But maybe they become a little more subtle.
I started thinking about my life. How I dress. How I act. How I talk. The people I want to hang out with. My choice of phones and computers. The shoes I choose to wear. How I wear my hear. Why I don’t wear make up. The books I choose to read. The journal I choose to write in.
Being honest about a dark place inside of me, I do a lot of those things listed above to get the attention of other people. The people I want to be friends with…or even more than that the people I want to be classified with.
I care what people think about me…probably a little way too much.
I often wonder if I were to strip off everything that drives me to “fit in” or fit the stereotype that I would like to fit in if I would be a different person. Would still make the same decisions without the motivation of fitting in?
I dont think the desire to be liked or to fit in is a bad thing…for me i think it becomes bad when i am morphing myself into someone i have created…i daily have to battle putting on this idea of Lynse that i like….and just being me.
I have a sneaking suspicion i am not alone. Today People of the Second Chance started this experiment…what if we showed who the real us was…what we looked like without photoshop, before we styled our hair and put on makeup. what if for a week we were real?
from where my head has been recently i was drawn to this. so i am participating…trying to press myself a bit where i struggle the most….
So here is a picture of me without straightening my hair and just throwing on my sweatshirt. me…
what about you? do you struggle with this too?
Think we all have to take some moments to watch this natural tendency to please others. I believe it is something that all people must evaluate occasionally. I love it when I can get back to just being me!
I am reminded of that moment when Martha is busy in the kitchen, and Mary is simply sitting at Jesus' feet listening to every word. Mary chose to be "real" at that moment and not let expectations prevent her from experience. I want to be like that!
i am in that process…i go through days when i am and then others when i am not. refining fire i guess.
I love this post. :)
and i love you. ;)
First off I missed you. Sorry for being away for a while there.
And lets see I definetly do have a tendency to please others. But I tend to limit that to the people I care about.
Personally I do not wear makeup or do much wiyth my hair on a day to day basis because I want to be me, I want people to accept me as me even if its not te most beautiful version.
i dont wear make up or do my hair cause frankly i am lazy…i would rather sleep that extra hour. ;)
and i did miss you!! how have you been?!?! email me and update PRONTO!
I can identify. Fitting in has been a lifelong struggle for me.
My biggest problem in dealing with this is that in trying to be accepted by others, I never really had my own identity. I was who I thought others would like me to be, and it changed based on who I was around.
My whole adult life has been an identity crisis. But I am working toward figuring out who the real me is, and hopefully I can be that person whether you like me, love me, or hate me.
dubdynomite´s last blog ..I’m Back…..
i think we are in the same process…its kinda fun…but not at the same time. ;)