the rescue
23 Nov
i did something that i didnt want to do. i did something that i had promised God that i wouldnt do again. Something that i knew i would regret the second after i did it.
I sinned. I messed up.
When i sin or mess up my first instinct is to isolate and hide….to keep it a secret.
But I know that is not healthy.
So i resisted the urge to hide and keep my sin a secret because i knew that if i did that it would continue to grow and grow and i would keep doing it…because it is in the dark and not in the light, and thats where it grows and festers….
So i confessed it…first to God and then to a few trusted friends that i knew would keep me accountable.
I chose to tear down the wall and share my secret…where i am weak.
as always it is scary. the thoughts running through my mind
they will think i am horrible
i let them down
i cant believe i did that
they are not going to be my friend anymore
they are going to tell everyone
they are going to judge me
but after i told the response on the other end was not at all what i anticipated….
her exact words were
“Love you. Messed up just means allow the rescue. Nothing you can do but allow it in.”
she didnt judge
but, she didnt approve of what i did
she didnt unfriend me
she didnt make me feel like i let them down
she didnt tell anyone
this person simply reminded me that God is my rescue….that i cant save or rescue myself. I cant do enough to rescue myself….only God can.
Rescue is defined as (n) an act of saving or being saved from danger or distress; or (v) save (someone) from a dangerous or distressing situation.
She couldnt rescue me.
I couldnt rescue me.
Chad couldnt rescue me.
You couldnt rescue me.
only God can rescue.
and in that moment of grace and love i felt the rescue of God. His plan to rescue me from where i was…the emotions, the anxiety, the shame, the darkness…he rescued me when His son died on the cross.
But it is our choice to allow the rescue…
