the spelling of my name
Recently i have been asked by some people why my name is spelled different….i have 2 spellings Lindsay and Lynse.
legally it is Lindsay….but to me it looks so foreign. up until now only my closest friends who knew me at the time know why….and Chad of course. Some of them may not even know that Lynse is not legal. but i guess i am out now….legally i am Lindsay Leanne….not Lynse Leanne.
but here goes the story.
when i was a junior in high school i lived in Colorado Springs, i was holding on to a lot of things, a lot of hurt. I was in the process of just coming clean about my sexual abuse and self injury issues….But i was working through it….I was letting God work in me and change a lot of the ways that i chose to cope.
i wanted God to show up and change those things in me, to heal me and take those things away. i wanted him to make me more like him.
so i spent 2 days praying and fasting for God to take it away from me and closed my time with communion….it was at a church service and i heard the pastor say something that i had never heard….
he said that God wanted to heal all of me, every area, including my mind and emotions….and i bought into it.
i cant tell you my exact feelings, but there was just a peace and a knowing that God showed up and i was not depressed anymore….i knew that God was near me. Of course i had “down” moments, but i was no longer depressed…and yes, there is a big difference.
you are probably wondering where the name change comes in….well that night i went to starbucks to read some more. I ordered my normal Grande Vanilla Soy No Water Chai and the lady at starbucks wrote my name “Lynse” and i liked it….
i was reading the story in Genesis 32 when God changes Jacob’s name to Israel and at that moment i felt the LORD say that just as he has begun a good work in me he was also changing the spelling of my name so that each time i wrote it or saw it i would be reminded that he worked in my life. That He changed me….that He showed up, we wrestled and God changed my name.
so for all of you who have asked….there it is. and for all of you who had no clue….you now know.
Has God ever done something so huge in you that you had to do something huge to remember it?
Several years ago, the church I was attending sent several women to a Leanne Payne conference. What they came back with was the message that God has a very special name for each of us, that is much deeper than what everyone else calls us. They had all prayed at the conference and asked God to tell/show them their names…and he did. Every single woman was given a special "title" from her creator, and it was powerful. They brought the challenge back to us – and so I did the same thing – prayed and asked God to show me who I am to him, and to tell me the name he calls me. He did, and it is the most precious and intimate name…. and it's mine…from God.
That is amazing. i love that you got to experience that.
i love that the spelling came from a barista! did you ever get to tell her how God used her to help transform your life??
amazing.
I didnt because i moved. :( but yes, and i am becoming a Starbucks barista in like a week….rather excited about that one!!
haha. whats amazing about this is how the people around you had to adapt, including me. i'd spelt your name "lindsay" and then all of a sudden it was "lynse" however, i thought you were legally going to change it when you got married? what happened to that plan?
well, come to find out changing your name when you are am immigrant is rather difficult…i am still technically Walls as well. ;)
haha! so funny. its ok. i technically wasn't married until 4 months after our wedding date. our marriage license got lost somehow so we had to sign a new one-it was kind of depressing really because chris lovett and my sister signed as our witnesses and i kind of always wanted the one from the actual day. also, because of this process i changed my name late so i went to register to vote after i got my new license and they told me i missed the cut off date. so i didn't get to cast my vote for president either.
dumb.
new spelling. new you.
its such a beautiful picture of the Lords transforming power. i love it!
when i look at my kids – i see the new me. and i taste the sweetness of redemption.
i love you, lynse.